the big 20

 23 days until my birthday. 

it seems so odd.

i'll be 20..i dont feel that old.

okay, i know thats not old but i dont feel like i should be 20.

the other day my bro in law told me to never grow up.

and you know what? if i had a choice i think i'd stay 19 for the rest of my life.

i would still like to move on, get married, have children, travel the world.

but during all of that, stay 19.

wouldnt that be nice?

i swear whenever my birthday comes around i can never think of what i want. 

everything i can think of only seems okay or is unrealistic at this time in my life.

two examples: having landon be here for my birthday would make it 10000 times better :(. and, i would love my own house right now. those would probably be the firsts on my list.

thats definitely not going to happen. 

so i've been thinking and i would settle for..

this tool set.

this amazing couch.

this beautiful dress form.

and a sewing table. 

any of those would do me good. 

or a trip to cali. so i can go to the fashion district. 

hmm. i guess i do have quite the list. 

but this year, i also want a beautiful birthday cake. 

although i wouldnt eat it, i'd just get it for looks. 

i guess watching cake boss is getting to me..

 what do you want for your birthday?